virgin islands scene

Be careful what you set your heart upon - for it will surely be yours.
-- James Baldwin


Saturday, January 11, 1997

Get positive by being negative

Do you know what you want out of life? Sometimes the things we DON’T want are more clear than the things we DO want. Yet if we dwell on what we DON’T want, even with the conscious intention to avoid it, we tend to get it. So the trick is to understand what we don’t want, and then use that to formulate strong, appropriate positive goals, for the things we do want.

For example, let’s say that one of your co-workers loses his job, and after more than 6 months is unable to find employment. His house is foreclosed and his family must move into a small apartment. You look at his unfortunate experience and realize that you don’t want that scenario for yourself. Now, instead of worrying about losing your job, and your house, and dwelling on the negative, you must determine what goals you can set, and what actions you can take, so that you never end up in that situation.

Turn the fear into desire. It will be just as strong and will lead you in a more positive direction. Compare these two statements:

"Joe lost his job, and then lost his house. I sure don’t want that to happen to me."

"Joe lost his job, and then lost his house. I’ve started a part-time business, and am building a second income that will give me financial independence."

Do you see the difference. Knowing what you DON’T want can be vastly more useful when you turn it into something you DO want. That’s because it gives you a way to take positive action. It’s hard to get very far just by avoidance. The best way to move away from one thing is to move toward another.

— Ralph Marston

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Copyright ©1997 Ralph S. Marston, Jr. All Rights Reserved. The Daily Motivator is provided for your personal, non-commercial use only. Other than personal sharing, please do not re-distribute without permission.