virgin islands scene

Fortune sides with him who dares.
-- Virgil


Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Before you complain

Before you complain about what someone did wrong, ask yourself this. Do you have a useful suggestion for how to do it better?

At best, criticism for the sake of criticism falls on deaf ears. Worse, it can provoke and escalate a conflict that no one is able to win.

Often it is necessary for you to point out someone else’s error. But that doesn’t mean you have to be gleeful or disparaging about it.

Your best approach is to be helpful. That’s true no matter how much or how little leverage you have in the situation.

Imagine yourself in the other person’s position. Based on that, figure out the most helpful way to frame the error and the most positive way to move forward from it.

Don’t waste your time and erode your relationships with empty, caustic criticism. Seek instead to be helpful, and to illuminate a positive path forward for everyone involved.

— Ralph Marston

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