virgin islands scene

Not the fruit of experience but experience itself, is the end.
-- Walter Pater


Wednesday, January 16, 2002


When you disagree with someone, one of the best things you can do is to listen. It sounds so simple, and yet it is so often overlooked. Instead of lecturing, listen. Rather than arguing, listen and seek to understand.

It’s natural to want to explain your own point of view. And the best way to equip yourself to do that, is to understand the other person’s point of view.

You can listen respectfully and still disagree. You can understand completely and still not give in. And yet when you do listen, and when you do make the effort to understand, you improve the situation immensely.

When you win an argument, you have won nothing except the other person’s resentment. When you resolve the argument through genuine mutual understanding, even though you may continue to disagree you have earned respect and cooperation. That way, everyone wins something of real value.

Even disagreements can be a way to move positively forward, when you have the strength and the confidence to truly listen and understand.

— Ralph Marston

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Copyright ©2002 Ralph S. Marston, Jr. All Rights Reserved. The Daily Motivator is provided for your personal, non-commercial use only. Other than personal sharing, please do not re-distribute without permission.