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When you clench your fist, no one can put anything in your hand, nor can your hand pick up anything.
-- Alex Haley


Friday, July 14, 2000

Ask by offering

How do you ask for what you desire? Receiving what you ask for is primarily a matter of asking in an effective way.

Begging is not an effective way of asking. Begging puts you at the mercy of the other person. Demanding is not a particularly effective way of asking, either. Demanding things quickly uses up whatever power you may have.

An ideal way to ask is to offer. When you offer, you put yourself in a powerful position. You make yourself much more difficult to deny. Think about it. If someone were constantly begging you for something, or constantly demanding things of you, how willing would you be to comply? Yet if someone were offering you something of value in return, think about what a difference that would make.

You have plenty of valuable things to offer -- your time, your experience, your knowledge, your attention, your understanding. There’s never any reason to beg. There’s rarely any reason to demand. Effectively get whatever you desire by making a compelling offer.

— Ralph Marston

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