The MONTHLY Motivator - March 2015

No worries

It’s easy to see that worry is not something you want to do. It’s clear that worry is not only a waste of time, it brings a whole lot of negative energy and negative expectations in the bargain. What’s not so easy is to let go of the worries. Yes, you know that worry, and its bigger cousin anxiety, are destructive pursuits. However, there’s a big difference between knowing to avoid worry and actually letting go of it.

Why is that? Why are worry and anxiety so persistent even though they feel bad? Well, even though worry is not pleasant, it is familiar, and even comfortable. You know how to do it, and you’re probably actually pretty good at it. Instead of challenging yourself to do something more positive, it’s easier just to worry. Even though it feels lousy. Even though you know it’s holding you back and bringing you down.

In addition, worrying has some higher aspirations. When you plan how to handle your problems before they actually become problems, you put yourself in a more positive position. So sometimes, worry can stem from a desire to prepare yourself for the challenges to come. That’s all well and good, yet there’s a big difference between positive, effective planning and obsessive worrying. That difference comes down to action. Planning is based on taking action. Worry is based on fear, anger, self-pity and resentment. If it feels like you’re in control, with a clear path forward, that’s not worry. If it feels like you’re stuck, and helpless, that’s worry.

And therein lies an excellent strategy for letting go of the worry. Take action. Don’t just sit there reminding yourself of how bad things might eventually be. Do something about it. When you’re focused on worry it’s pretty much impossible to be effective. When you’re focused on action, there’s no time, energy or awareness left for worry. Positive action will have an immediate effect on your worry. The more challenging and engaging the task, the less space you’ll have for worry. The longer you perform the task, the further you get away from your worries.

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--Ralph Marston

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