virgin islands scene

Before you can do something you must first be something.
-- Goethe
 

 

Monday, January 6, 2003

Self control

Often it will occur that one part of you desires something that another, more enlightened part of you knows is not right for you. When this happens, it is helpful to remember that neither of those conflicting urges defines you.

The mere fact that you’re able to see the conflict within yourself means that you are also able to rise above that conflict. The fact that you’re able to perceive what you’re thinking and feeling means that the real you is beyond those thoughts and feelings.

When you are longingly tempted to overindulge, or to become angry or resentful or hurtful, and yet you know it is not right for you, remember that you can take a step back. Step back to a place where you can look objectively and lovingly at the conflict within you.

Being in such a vantage point, you can let yourself fully experience the desire without allowing that desire to take control of you. You can let that desire out in the open where it harmlessly burns itself out, and then be done with it and free to follow the course you know is right.

Inner conflict can be difficult to resolve when you’re stuck in the middle of it. So step back to the real you that exists apart from that conflict, where you can settle it peacefully and effectively.

— Ralph Marston

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